Santa. Who is he REALLY?

Ok I've been thinking about this alot lately and it's bothering me more and more. Santa. Let us dissect this nostalgic figment of our childhood. Have we REALLY listened to these songs about him? "He sees you when you're sleeping. He knows when you're awake." Why does he only KNOW when children are awake, but sees them when they're sleeping? Strange old men who like to watch kids sleep get locked up. He only travels at night, that right there should tell you he's up to no good! Now you might say, "But J he's giving toys and candy to children!" EXACTLY! How do you think pedifiles get children into their houses or cars? Oh and did I mention the magic? Which is probably a bunch of slight of hand crap and illusions, more tricks to get children to follow him blindly. Or what if it's real? Maybe he struck a deal with Satan, Satan's all for pedifiles right? Then there's these ridiculous claims of elves. Now we know there's no such thing. My explaination? They're children he kidnapped! Those kids that end up missing and no one knows where they went. They go to the store and sit on his lap, not the real guy, just another perv helping the cause, AND THE PARENTS BRING THEM! He's even got them fooled! Because they don't think he's real, that it's all a fantasy thing, BECAUSE HE ERASED THEIR MEMORIES! He has his way with these children, and the ones who don't want to leave mommy and daddy for the north pole get the flashy thing from Men in Black! Some kids don't care though, they want to be with santa, so he kidnaps them and takes them to the north pole! Then he puts them to work in his sweat shop! All these kids, who probably still don't know what's going on because they're all like, "WE'RE WORKING FOR SANTA!", are all stuck in the north pole! THE NORTH POLE! What better place for a pedifile to hide than a location where no one's around to hear you scream. Or if you figure it all out and try to run, how far can you get? You won't even make canada before you die of hypothermia. I'd also like to point out that if you rearrange santa, you get satan! CAN IT BE MORE OBVIOUS?! Something must be done

Santa. Who is he REALLY?